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New Year's Resolutions 1998 revisited         Feb 19, 1998


Hawk Ahhh, Resolutions! I am so happy that I didn't make any...

LadyHawke
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Hawk "New Year's Resolutions 1998"

New Year's Resolution #1
Try to avoid transmission of inter-species diseases

New Year's Resolution #2
Avoid airplanes that spontaneously drop 1000 feet (especially when they are less than 1000 feet above the ground)

New Year's Resolution #3
Stay off the Mir space station

New Year's Resolution #4
Don't eat cloned meat

New Year's Resolution #5
Try not to have seven children at once

New Year's Resolution #6
Avoid drunk limo drivers on anti-depressants

New Year's Resolution #7
Don't give real name when making campaign bribes

New Year's Resolution #8
Don't take a car all the way to Mars without remembering the spare battery.

New Year's Resolution #9
Don't get so drunk that you think cutting your penis off and blaming it on your girlfriend is a really neat idea.

New Year's Resolution #10
No more spaceship rides behind comets, even if the lemonade is free.



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