Ahhh, Resolutions! I am so happy that I didn't make any...
LadyHawke
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"New Year's Resolutions 1998"
New Year's Resolution #1
Try to avoid transmission of inter-species diseases
New Year's Resolution #2
Avoid airplanes that spontaneously drop 1000 feet (especially when they are less than 1000 feet above the ground)
New Year's Resolution #3
Stay off the Mir space station
New Year's Resolution #4
Don't eat cloned meat
New Year's Resolution #5
Try not to have seven children at once
New Year's Resolution #6
Avoid drunk limo drivers on anti-depressants
New Year's Resolution #7
Don't give real name when making campaign bribes
New Year's Resolution #8
Don't take a car all the way to Mars without remembering the spare battery.
New Year's Resolution #9
Don't get so drunk that you think cutting your penis off and blaming it on your girlfriend is a really neat idea.
New Year's Resolution #10
No more spaceship rides behind comets, even if the lemonade is free.
