Losing Golf Balls         April 23, 1998

 I never understood the facination of chasing a little ball 
across all sand traps, water traps, bushes, trees, and who 
knows what else into a little hole in the ground.  Then 
again, I don't like walking either.

LadyHawke
*~*~*~*~*~*

 "Don't lose that ball!!!"	

These two guys were approaching the first tee. The first guy 
goes into his golf bag to get a ball and says to his friend, 
"Hey, why don't you try this ball?" 
He draws a green golf ball out of his bag. "You can't lose it."
  
His friend replies, "What do you mean you can't lose it?!" 
The first man replies, "I'm serious, you can't lose it. If you hit 
it into the woods, it makes a beeping sound, if you hit it into 
the water it produces bubbles, and if you hit it on the fairway, 
smoke comes up in order for you to find it."
  
Obviously, his friend doesn't believe him, but the guy shows 
his friend all the possibilities until he is convinced. The friend 
says, "Wow! That's incredible! Where did you get that ball?!" 
  
The man replies, "I found it."
~~~~~~~~~~

 "A Lost Ball"

A foursome was on the last hole.  When the last golfer drove 
off the tee he hooked into a cow pasture.  He advised his 
friends to play through and he would meet them at the 
clubhouse.  They followed the plan and waited for their friend.

After a considerable time he appeared ...disheveled, bloody, 
and badly beaten up.  They all wanted to know what on Earth 
happened to him.

He explained that he went over to the cow pasture but could 
not find his ball.  He noticed a cow wringing her tail in obvious 
pain.  He went over and lifted her tail and saw a golf ball 
solidly embedded!  It was a yellow Titelist so he knew it was 
not his.  At this time a woman came out of the bushes 
apparently searching for her lost golf ball.

The helpful male golfer lifted the cow's tail and asked, 
"Does this look like yours?" 

....and that was the last thing he could remember.
~~~~~~~~~~

 A letter from subscriber APLB92@aol.com:
Re: Losing  Golf Balls

"You of all people do not understand why men chase balls 
around to put in a hole???  I would follow my balls anywhere 
to be able to put them in "the" hole.  I hope this clears up 
some of the confusion about the fun of, oh I'm sorry did
you say golf?"

Thanks, Fred.  I needed a laugh. - LadyHawke