What's the difference between a Catholic wife and a Jewish wife?
 
The Catholic wife tells her husband to buy Viagra.
The Jewish wife tells her husband to buy Pfizer.

LadyHawke
*~*~*~*~*~*

 Viagra followups

Americans both male and female are cheering the end of 
male impotence.  And the company's stock is shooting up 
faster than the male appendages its new product is said to
revive.  Soon phrases like, "This has never happened to me 
before," "I must be more tired than I thought I was" and the 
ever-popular, "Oh...wanna watch TV?" will be banished from 
our collective vocabulary.

Already development at Pfizer's Male Behavioral Health 
Laboratory, staffed entirely by female scientists, by the way, 
are a dozen or so other new drugs which - if perfected and 
deemed safe for humans - promise to alter your man's 
chemistry in yet more ways which should suit your fancy.

Here are some of the most promising, courtesy of my 
super-secret sources inserted deep within the company. 
 
DIRECTRA - a dose of this drug given to men before leaving 
on car trips caused 72 percent of them to stop and ask 
directions when they got lost, compared to a control group 
of 0.2 percent. 

PROJECTRA - Men given this experimental new drug were 
far more likely to actually finish a household repair project 
before starting a new one. 

CHILDAGRA - Men taking this drug reported a sudden, 
overwhelming urge to perform more child care tasks - 
especially cleaning up spills and "little accidents." 

COMPLIMENTRA - In clinical trials, 82 percent of middle-aged 
men administered this drug noticed that their wives had a new 
hairstyle. Currently being tested to see if its effects extend to 
noticing new clothing. 

BUYAGRA - Married and otherwise attached men reported a 
sudden urge to buy their sweeties expensive jewelry and gifts 
after talking this drug for only two days.  Still to be seen: 
whether the drug can be continued for a period longer than 
your favorites store's return limit. 

NEGA-VIAGRA - Has the exact opposite effect of Viagra. 
Currently undergoing clinical trials on sitting U.S. presidents. 

NEGA-SPORTAGRA - This drug had the strange effect of 
making men want to turn off televised sports and actually 
converse with other family members. 

FLATULAGRA - This complex drug converts men's noxious 
intestinal gases back into food solids.  Special bonus: Dosage 
can be doubled for long car rides. 

FLYAGRA - This drug has been showing great promise in 
treating men with O.F.D. (Open Fly Disorder).  Especially 
useful for men on Viagra.

PRYAGRA - About to fail its clinical trial, this drug gave men 
in the test group an irresistible urge to dig into the personal 
affairs of other people.  Note:  Apparent over-dose turned three 
test subjects = into "special prosecutors."

LIAGRA - This drug causes men to be less than truthful when 
being asked about their sexual affairs.  Will be available Regular, 
Grand Jury and Presidential Strength versions.

TOILETAGRA - This drug enables men to lift the toilet seat, 
urinate in the bowl--not on the sides, and put the toilet seat 
down when they are through.

 
ALSO coming from Pfizers Male Behavioral Health Laboratory 
(this produced by male scientists, by the way) will be:
 
IGNORA - Men given this experimental new drug were able to 
ignore virtually 98% of all forms of female nagging.  Drawbacks 
include a 30-45 second 'kick-in' period which for some women 
can be long enough to really get going.  Side affects such as 
calmness and overwhelming happiness will eventually 
discontinue after the drug wears off.  Unfortunately, 
production has been slow because the assembly line workers 
had to go home to "mow the grass" and "fix the sink."  They 
all complained of suffering from some disease called 
"Honey Dew."