On Spelling Bees...         Mar 25, 1998

Ahh, the spelling bees....  Can't say I miss 'em.

LadyHawke
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"Fascinate"

A teacher asked her students to use the word "fascinate" in 
a sentence.

Mary said, "My family went to the New York City Zoo, and 
we saw all the animals. It was fascinating."  

The teacher said, "That was good, but I wanted the word 
'fascinate.'"

Sally raised her hand.  She said, "My family went to the 
Philadelphia Zoo and saw the animals.  I was fascinated."  

The teacher said, "Good, but I wanted the word 'fascinate.'"

Little Johnny raised his hand.  The teacher hesitated because 
Johnny was noted for his bad language.  She finally decided 
there was no way he could damage the word "fascinate" so 
she called on him. 

Little Johnny said, "My sister has a sweater with 10 buttons, 
but her boobs are so big she can only fasten 8."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Dictate"

Buckwheat & Darla were in school, and the teacher asks Darla 
"How do you spell 'dumb'?"
Darla says, "D-u-m-b, dumb." 
The teacher says, "Very good, now use it in a sentence."
She says, "Buckwheat is dumb"
The teacher says, "Now spell 'stupid.'"  
Darla says "S-t-u-p-i-d, stupid."
The teacher says, "Very good, now use it in a sentence."
Darla says, "Buckwheat is stupid."
Then the teacher calls on Buckwheat and says, 
"Buckwheat, spell dictate."  
Buckwheat stands and says, "D-i-c-t-a-t-e, dictate."  
The teacher says, "Very good, now use it in a sentence."
"I may be dumb, and I may be stupid, but Darla says my 
dictate good!" 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Grown up Word"

The kindergarteners were now in the first grade. Their teacher 
wanted them to be more grown up since they were no longer 
in kindergarten.  She told them to use grown up words instead 
of baby words. She then asked them to tell her what they did 
during the summer. 

The first little one said he went to see his Nana.   The teacher said, 
"No, No, you went to see your grandmother.  Use the grown up 
word."  

The next little one said she went for a trip on a choo-choo.   The 
teacher again said, "No, No, you went on a trip on a 'train.'  That's 
the grown up word."   

Then the teacher asked the third little one what he did during the 
summer. He proudly stated that he read a book. The teacher asked 
what book he had read.   He puffed out his chest and in a very 
adult way replied, 

"Winnie the Sh*t."