Virgins...Virgins...         Jan 16, 1998

LadyHawke
*~*~*~*~*~*

"A Virgin"

There was a virgin who wanted to marry a farmer boy. One day, she went to his parents' house for dinner. When they got done eating dinner, they decided to go for a walk through the pasture. While they were walking they came upon the 2 horses that were mating. She looks at them with wonder because she's never seen anything like this before so she asks the boy,
"What are they doing?"
He says "They're making love."
"Well, what's that long thing his sticking in there?" She asks.
"Oh, uh, that’s his rope" he answered.
"Well, what are those two round things on the other end?" she asks.
He says "Those are his knots"
She says, "Oh, Ok I got it."
As they continue their stroll, they come to a barn and go in. She looks at him and says,
"I want you to make love to me the way those animals were."
Surprised and excited, the boy agrees. While they're getting at all hot and heavy, she grabs his balls and squeezes.
"Whoa, what are you doing?" he shouts.
The girl innocently (??) replies,
"I'm untying the knots so I'll get more rope."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Conception"
aka "In the Name of the Medicine..."

A young hillbilly and his new bride wanted desperately to start a family, but they didn't know what they had to do to have children. So they decided to visit a doctor. With a great deal of embarrassment, the young man explained their situation.

The doctor took out his charts and books for adolescents and carefully explained the birds and the bees. The two looked bewilderdly at each other, then at the doctor. The doctor attempted to explain in various ways and terms the ins and outs of human reproduction. The same result.

Finally, exasperated, the doctor laid the bride on the examination table, removed all her clothing, and had intercourse with her. (Tsk, tsk, tsk! - ^v^)

He then turned to the young hillbilly and asked, "Now do you understand?"

"Yes, doctor," the hillbilly responded, "but just one question."

Slapping his forehead in total disbelief, the doctor squawked, "Yes, what is it now?"

"How often do I have to bring her in?"