Hello? Anybody out there? I spell Super Bowl as "Super Ball," and only one (!) person notices it? Are you people reading my comments? I get a lot of mail telling me how much you love them... Yet occasionally I put in a 'bomb' to see if you're really paying attention... Oh, well... {boo hoo... I'm going to go in the corner and cry now.....}
Well, ok... I'll send you a joke anyway... {sniff}
LadyHawke
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25 Snappy Comebacks to the age old question "Why aren't you married yet?"
1. You haven't asked yet.
2. I was hoping to do something meaningful with my life.
3. What? And spoil my great sex life?
4. Nobody would believe me in white.
5. Because I just love hearing this question.
6. Just lucky, I guess.
7. It gives my mother something to live for.
8. My fiance is awaiting parole.
9. I'm still hoping for a shot at Miss/Mr. America.
10. Do you know how hard it is to get two tickets to Miss Saigon?
11. I'm waiting until I get to be your age.
12. It didn't seem worth a blood test.
13. I already have enough laundry to do, thank you.
14. Because I think it would take all the spontaneity out of dating.
15. My co-op board doesn't allow spouses.
16. I'd have to forfeit my billion dollar trust fund.
17. They just opened a great singles bar on my block.
18. I wouldn't want my parents to drop dead from sheer happiness.
19. I guess it just goes to prove that you can't trust those voodoo doll rituals.
20. What? And lose all the money I've invested in running personal ads?
21. We really want to, but my lover's husband just won't go for it.
22. I don't want to have to support another person on my paycheck.
23. Why aren't you thin?
24. I'm married to my career, although recently we have been considering a trial separation.
25. (Bonus reply for Single Mothers) Because having a husband and a child would be redundant.
Additional Responses
"And why don't you mind your own business and I'll handle mine."
"Cuz I discovered two CAN'T live as cheap as one"
"WHAT! and have him/her bitch about how much time I spend on AOL?"
"Cuz I like doing my hair the way I want to", etc............
"I already have enough (cooking, cleaning and laundry), thank you."
"Keeping the fridge stocked with HIS beer, wouldn't leave much room for my ......(yogurt, wine, cucumbers.....)
"I HATE having to check the toilet seat before I sit."
"My cucumber/dog get along just fine." (------- hey!, this IS a snappy comeback for rude people, right?)
"Cuz I don want to hear about HIS/HER day."
