Zippergate continues         Feb 11, 1998

LadyHawke
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The snicker factor is rapidly diminishing ...

The Democrats are considering changing their emblem from a donkey to a condom because a condom stands for inflation, halts production, discourages cooperation, protects a bunch of dicks, and gives one a sense of security while screwing others.
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"Zippergate Qs & As"

Q: What do Monica Lewinsky and Bob Dole have in common?
A: They were both upset when Bill finished first.

Q: What is Bill's definition of safe sex?
A: When Hillary is out of town.

Q: Who is the only woman in the White House not sleeping with Clinton?
A: Hillary.

Q: Why does President Clinton invite so many ladies into his private
study?
A: He wants to show them his executive branch.

Q: How does Bill keep Monica Lewinsky away from the White House?
A: He keeps offering to send Ted Kennedy over to give her a ride.

Q. What does Bill say to Hillary after a romantic interlude?
A: "Honey, I'll be home in 20 minutes."

Q: When did Clinton realize Paula Jones wasn't a Democrat?
A: When she didn't swallow everything he presented.

Q: What's the definition of an Arkansas Virgin?
A: A girl that can run faster than the Governor.

Q: What does Teddy Kennedy have that Bill Clinton wishes *he* did?
A: A dead girlfriend.

Q: Why did Bill go out to sea on an aircraft carrier?
A: To promote offshore drilling.

Q: Why is Clinton so interested in events in the Middle East?
A: He thinks the Gaza Strip is a topless bar.

Q: What is the title of Hillary Clinton's next book?
A: "It Takes a Village to Satisfy my Husband."

Q: What is Clinton's new nickname?
A: The Unibanger.

Q: Why Al Gore has canceled his engagements for the next two weeks...
A: He and Tipper will be looking at carpet swatches and drape treatments for the White House.

Q: Why did Monica always drink with a straw while she was an intern?
A: Practice.

Q: Why was Monica Lewinsky in the White House after hours?
A: Clinton was showing her the proper way to take dictation.

Q: Is it safe to say Clinton's the first president to blow his term of office?
A: ....... :-Þ
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Hillary just hired a new White House intern.....
Lorena Bobbitt

Nixon: "I am not a crook!"
Clinton: "I am not a pervert."
US people: "Yeah, right."

Seen on an Arkansas Car Bumper
"Honk, if you haven't had sex with Bill Clinton"

When Clinton was asked about marijuana, he replied: "I did not inhale!"
When asked about "Ms Lew," will his reply will be: "I did not inseert!" ???

Today's headline read: "Clinton Probe Expands."
It turned out to be a direct quote attributed to Monica Lewinsky.

Most people worry about getting AIDS from sex.
Bill Clinton worries about getting sex from aides.

In a surprise interview, Monica was asked about the details of her late night meetings with the President...
"I can't remember the details, she said, but I know the answer is on the tip of my tongue!"