LadyHawke shall fly again!! Dec 2, 1997
My dear Friends, Subscribers, & "Newbies!""I am Baaaaack!" (Put Arnie's accent here.) "The news of my yet another brush with death have been greatly exaggerated." Amazingly, my PC actually did what it was suppose to do. It uploaded my Suspension Service Announcement while I was on my way to the hospital. (The "hero" Hawke wrote her 'announcement' note while waiting for the ambulance. Yeah, I know. Kind of stupid. Don't tell me! I didn't want you to worry about me...) Much later, after I passed ER with flying colors (not!), and was comfortably (huh?) settled in the ICU, I started my 'usual' entertainment routine for the hospital personnel. The nurses and doctors were rolling on the floor laughing, while hooking up my heart and the rest of me to all sorts of monitors. The comedy strategy worked. After only a day in ICU and a week in a hospital, they've kicked me out, and told me not to bring any more 'stale' medical jokes. Hey, that's not fair! I had plenty of fresh ones, too! Ahh, the ungrateful..... (g) But seriously, I want to thank each and every one of you who has wrote to me to wish me a speedy recovery. I can use all the good will, the blessings, and the prayers I get! I know that I've asked for no letters. I just didn't realize how many friends I have out there! I guess, since I share a bit of myself in my pre-joke 'tidbits,' many of you feel as if I am your personal friend. Good! That's exactly the intentions of my comments are! I think of my subscribers as my friends! I am a part of your lives, as you are a part of mine. ^v^ Many people sent me cyber-flowers and music cards. To ALL of YOU, a heart-felt THANK YOU!! I've read and responded to every one!
LadyHawke For the curious ones: LadyHawke's Hospital Story. If you don't have time now, read it later. It's not short.
One funny thing DID happen while I was in the ICU, though. Honest! It DID HAPPENED! I swear! I have witnesses! Why do these things always happen to me? Or is it that my mind is so sexual-joke-oriented that I just pick stuff up where others don't see it? There is a strong possibility there.... Well, here's the ACTUAL scenario of what happened in LadyHawke's ICU room 'the morning after' my little-whittle teensy-weensy teeny-tiny heart spasm. (At MY age? Darn! It's a bit too early for such 'warnings,' isn't it?) After the initial craziness, I was resting semi-comfortably in the Intensive Care Unit of the North Shore Hospital on Long Island, NY. I have been hooked to the oxygen line, a heart monitor, an oxygen level monitor, & IV through the night. They were taking one blood test after another. Were they trying to make sure that the patient is still alive? Sleep was out of the question as I was poked, probed, measured, examined, touched, X-rayed, and who-knows-what-else every 20 min. or so. The burly X-ray guy didn't even smile at my 'standard' X-ray joke. ("You're going to take three pictures of me, and they all going to be X-rated!") Oh, well.
The EKG guy was, kind of, cute. (Hey, I was sick, not dead yet!) He was also rather young and very er... impressionable. Obviously, he hasn't encountered in his short (sexually-speaking) life a lady of my, how shall I put it, "frontal assets," because he needlessly bared me to my waist during a routine EKG. After I made an unladylike snort and gave him an appropriate look, he deeply blushed and covered at least some of my 'twin peaks' (as I call them). After he left, I discussed
his behavior with my one-to-one nurse, and she, too, agreed, that the technician had behaved inappropriately. Argh, men! They just can't help themselves when they see a pair of good ones!
For some reason, I was NPO, which means 'nothing by mouth' in Latin. I wasn't hungry, but wanted some water. Hospitals do have dry air. By morning I was willing to do a lot of interesting things to anybody who'd allow me to get some ice chips in my mouth. (Don't you get any ideas now!) Finally, at 2 pm or so, the day after I arrived, I got some ice chips to suck on. {g} I was feeling better and wanted to get out of there. My stomach loudly announced its emptiness. It seemed that I was examined by 1,001 doctors and followed by none. The usual ICU procedure, isn't it?
Finally, two youngish doctors showed up. They discussed the necessary medical details, and told me I was going to be admitted. (Like I didn't know that already! Duhh!) They seemed to linger in my ICU 'room', so I've decided to make some small talk.
LadyHawke: Say, Doctor, did anybody ever tell you that you look like George Michael does now? |
