The IRS Medley... part II         April 13, 1998

Almost everyone has seen the first tax form in 
today's mailing.  But how many have seen the others?  
Just in time for tax season...  What will they think of next?

LadyHawke
*~*~*~*~*~*

New IRS Forms and Taxes:

"1040 P Standard Penis Tax Form"

The only thing the IRS has not taxed is the penis.  This is due 
to the fact that:

40% of the time, it's hanging around unemployed,
30% of the time, it's p*ssed off,
20% of the time, it's hard up,
10% of the time, it is in the hole.

On top of all this, it has three dependents, two of whom are nuts, 
and one is an a**hole.

Accordingly, starting January 1, 1997, all penises will be taxed 
according to size.

To determine the category, please consult the chart below and 
confirm this information of Page 2, Section 7, Line 3, of the 
standard 1040P form.

10 to 12 Inches* 		Luxury Tax    	$50.00 
8 to 10 inches   		Pole Tax 		$30.00 
6 to 8 inches    		Privilege Tax 	$15.00 
4 to 6 inches    		Nuisance Tax  	$  5.00

PLEASE NOTE: Anyone under 4 inches is eligible for a refund.

PLEASE DO NOT REQUEST AN EXTENSION!!!

*  Males exceeding 12 inches must file Capital Gains.

Sincerely,

Pecker Checker,
Internal Revenue Service
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"1040 B Standard Breasts Tax Form"

Since the IRS has decided to tax men's penises, it has come to 
believe that women shouldn't be left out.  So they have decided 
that a Breast Tax is in order.
 
Please refer to the chart below for your tax computation:
 
AA cup		Flat rate                	   	 $ 5.00
A cup		Slight rise            		$10.00
B cup		Normal rate         		$15.00
C cup		Over abundant rate 	$20.00
D cup*		"Are they real?" rate       	$40.00
 
PLEASE NOTE: Anyone under AA cup is eligible for a refund.
PLEASE DO NOT REQUEST AN ENLARGEMENT!!!

*  Females exceeding D cup should consult their tax advisor for 
the KNOCK YOUR EYES OUT Capital Gains tax.  

Boobs Checker,
Internal Revenue Service
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"New W-2 Form"			

Have all of you received your new Customer Friendly and Simple 
As Pie W-2?

Form W-2-CFSAP

1.  Name: _____________________________________

2.  Social Security Number: _______________________

3.  How Much Did You Make In 1997: ______________

SEND IT IN!

Signature_____________________________________

Date_________________________________________