To my Mexican friends:  Happy Cinco de Mayo, an 
Independence Day for Mexico.  Don't drink too many margaritas 
or you'll be walking on your sombreros ....  

LadyHawke
*~*~*~*~*~*

 Juan The Smuggler

Juan comes up to the Mexican border on his bicycle.  He's got
two large bags over his shoulders.  The guard stops him and 
says, "What's in the bags?"  

"Sand," answered Juan.

The guard says, "We'll just see about that ~ get off the bike."
The guard takes the bags and rips them apart; he empties 
them out and finds nothing in them but sand.  He detains 
Juan overnight and has the sand analyzed, only to discover 
that there is nothing but pure sand in the bags.  

The guard releases Juan, puts the sand into new bags, hefts 
them onto the man's shoulders, and lets him cross the border.

A week later, the same thing happens.  The guard asks, 
"What have you got?"

"Sand," says Juan.

The guard does his thorough examination and discovers that 
the bags contain nothing but sand.  He gives the sand back 
to Juan, and Juan crosses the border on his bicycle.

This sequence of events if repeated every day for three years.  
Finally, Juan doesn't show up one day and the guard meets 
him in a Cantina in Mexico.

"Hey, Buddy," says the guard, "I know you are smuggling 
something.  It's driving me crazy.  It's all I think about..... I can't 
sleep.  Just between you and me, what are you smuggling?"

Juan sips his beer and says, "Bicycles."

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Happy Mother's Day!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 Wild Night In Mexico

One night 2 Longhorns and an Aggie decide to go down to 
Mexico to party.  They get there and party so hard they pass 
out in an alley. The next morning they wake up to find out 
their wallets have been stolen. They discussed how they
were going to get across the border without any identification 
and finally came to the conclusion that they would find a 
cargo truck and hide inside.

After waiting a few hours, they finally found one heading to 
the States. The first Longhorn gets on and hides in a crate, the 
second finds another crate to hide in, and the Aggie finds a 
burlap sack.  Both Longhorns in confusion said "What are you 
doing?  The border patrol will find you there"  The Aggie 
assures them not to worry and that he has a plan.  

So down the road they come to the checkpoint and, sure 
enough, the border patrol gets on the truck to inspect the 
crates.  He comes upon the first crate and gives it a kick.  
The first Longhorn says, "Moooooooo....." 
The inspector says, "Oh just a cow." 
Then he comes across the next crate and gives it a kick.  
The second Longhorn says, "Baaaaaaaaa......"
The inspector says, "Oh just some sheep" and moves on 
until he comes to the burlap sack.  With much confusion to 
the shape of its contents he gives it a good shake to which 
the Aggie responds with:
.
.
.
.
.
"POOTAATOOOES...."