There can be only one...         Mar 28, 1998

Gosh, I loved that movie...  The Highlander...  
Christopher Lambert...  A gorgeous guy with long hair... 
{deep sigh}  Where do true Champions go?  Who will 
stand up to the Challenge?

LadyHawke
*~*~*~*~*~*

"An Ultimate M&M Challenge"

Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to 
continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a species.  
To this end, I hold M&M duels.  Taking two candies between my 
thumb and forefinger, I apply pressure, squeezing them together 
until one of them cracks and splinters.  That is the "loser," and I 
eat the inferior one immediately.  The winner gets to go another
round. I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&Ms are 
tougher, and the newer blue ones are genetically inferior.  I have 
hypothesized that the blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive long 
in the intense theater of competition that is the modern candy and 
snack-food world.  Occasionally I will get a mutation, a candy that 
is misshapen, or pointer, or flatter than the rest.  Almost invariably 
this proves to be a weakness, but on very rare occasions it gives 
the candy extra strength.  In this way, the species continues to 
adapt to its environment. When I reach the end of the pack, I am 
left with one M&M, the strongest of the herd.

Since it would make no sense to eat this one as well, I pack it neatly 
in an envelope and send it to M&M Mars, A Division of Mars, Inc.,
Hackettstown, NJ 17840-1503 USA, along with a 3x5 card reading, 
"Please use this M&M for breeding purposes."  This week they 
wrote back to thank me, and sent me a coupon for a free 1/2 pound 
bag of plain M&Ms.  I consider this "grant money."  I have set 
aside the weekend for a grand tournament.  From a field of 
hundreds, we will discover the True Champion.

There can be only one...