A Christmas tree & a Pony       Dec 16, 1997

LadyHawke
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Ten Reasons Why a Christmas Tree Is Better Than a Woman

10. A Christmas tree doesn't care how many other Christmas trees you have had in the past.
9. Christmas trees don't get mad if you use exotic electrical devices.
8. A Christmas tree doesn't care if you have an artificial one in the closet.
7. A Christmas tree doesn't get mad if you break one of its balls.
6. You can feel a Christmas tree before you take it home.
5. A Christmas tree doesn't get mad if you look up underneath it.
4. When you are done with a Christmas tree you can throw it on the curb and have it hauled away.
3. A Christmas tree doesn't get jealous around other Christmas trees.
2. A Christmas tree doesn't care if you watch football all day.
1. A Christmas tree doesn't get mad if you tie it up and throw it in the back of your pickup truck.
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"I Saw Mommy..."
Little Petey was sure that heard them this time! Bells.. outside.. on the roof. He was positive. But then he had been positive earlier, too. Just like last year, and the year before. But just to be sure he snuck out of bed and q-u-i-e-t-l-y crept down the hall to the stairs. He crawled headfirst down enough stairs until he clould see through the rails of the bannister. And there, to his utter disblief, were Mommy and Santa Claus!!!

Santa was standing beside the tree, Mommy was just coming in from the kitchen carrying two glasses. But it didn't look like milk. What? A glass of wine for Santa? "Aw, Geeze Mom.. Santa doesn't drink wine," thought Petey, almost out loud. They touched their glasses together and then each took a drink. Santa sat his glass on the mantle and then took Mommy's and set it there too.

Petey could not believe what happened next; Mommy stepped closer to Santa as he opened his arms and gave her a big hug. He watched as she returned the hug by putting her arms around Santa's neck. And Then!!!! They kissed. Not a quick little smooch like Petey always got at bedtime. No, this was a long, mushy kiss. And it seemed to linger a long long time. And the longer it lasted the more intense it seemd to get. "Golly", thought Petey, "aren't they gonna breathe?"

Then Petey heard a clamor coming from the basement door. "Honey! Open the door. My arms are full" It was Dad calling from downstairs. Mommy and Santa stopped kissing , but kinda slowly. They lingered another moment. Then Santa picked up his glass, tossed back his head and drank it all. With a quick smile he leaned over and kissed Mommy on the cheek, patted her on the butt, and backed into the chimney. He touched the side of his nose, nodded, and ...whooosh... up the chimney he went.

Just as he was gone Dad came busting through the basement door, his arms so full of boxes and bags he could barely stand. "Didn't you hear me yelling at you?" he said the Mommy. "No, dear, I didn't." said Mommy. She gave a lingering look at he chimney and then went to help Dad with all the stuff. "Ya' know something?" thought Petey, "I have a feeling that if I play this right I am going to get that pony this year after all!"