Some things are just self-explanatory.....
LadyHawke
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"10 Reasons Why a Christmas Tree Is Better Than a Woman"
10. A Christmas tree doesn't care how many other Christmas trees you have had in the past.
09. Christmas trees don't get mad if you use exotic electrical devices.
08. A Christmas tree doesn't care if you have an artificial one in the closet.
07. A Christmas tree doesn't get mad if you break one of its balls.
06. You can feel a Christmas tree before you take it home.
05. A Christmas tree doesn't get mad if you look up underneath it.
04. When you are done with a Christmas tree you can throw it on the curb and have it hauled away.
03. A Christmas tree doesn't get jealous around other Christmas trees.
02. A Christmas tree doesn't care if you watch football all day.
01. A Christmas tree doesn't get mad if you tie it up and throw it in the back of your pickup truck.
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"Elf Pick-Up Lines, version I"
10. All day I make toys -- all night I make love.
9. Has anyone ever told you you have beautiful knees?
8. We don't see many happenin' ladies north of the Arctic Circle.
7. That's quite a set of ornaments you've got there.
6. Just because a guy wears tights doesn't mean he's gay.
5. One night with me, baby, and you'll be sneezin' tinsel.
4. Why, yes -- I am George Stephanopoulos!
3. I can't tell you how hard it is to be the only Jewish elf?
2. Not everything about me is tiny.
1. That's not Elmo, but don't stop tickling.
(C) 1996 Worldwide Pants, Inc. All Rights Reserved
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"Elf Pick-Up Lines, version II"
10. "I'm down here"
9. "Just because I've got bells on my shoes doesn't mean I'm a sissy"
8. "I was once a lawn ornament for John Bon Jovi"
7. "I can get you off the naughty list."
6. "I have certain needs that can't be satisfied by working on toys."
5. "I'm a magical being. Take off your bra."
4. "No, no. I don't bake cookies. You're thinking of those dorks over at Keebler."
3. "I get a thimbleful of tequila in me and I turn into a wild man."
2. "You'd look great in a Raggedy Ann wig."
1. "I can eat my weight in cocktail wieners."
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"Top Ten Santa Pick-Up Lines"
10. Hey Babe, when was the last time you did it in a sleigh?
9. Wanna see my 12-inch elf?
8. I`ve got something special in the sack for you!
7. Ever make it with a fat guy with a whip?
6. I know when you`ve been bad or good--so let`s skip the small talk, sister!
5. Some of my best toys run on batteries.
4. Interested in seeing the "North Pole"? (Well, that's what the Mrs. calls it...)
3. I see you when you're sleeping--and you don't wear any underwear, do you?
2. Screw the "nice" list--I've got you on my "naughty" list!
1. Wanna join the "Mile High" club?
